Well, I've hit it. It. The halfway point. Have I seriously been in LA for 18 months? I've been in seminary for six (yes, 6) quarters now. I'm honestly rather shocked by this very idea quite often. I'm not quite sure how this happened or why it is so alarming. Maybe it only reminds me that a year and a half from now, I'll be potentially moving? A real job? No more internships?! No freaking way!

All of this transition has led to an overwhelming amount of processing and questioning in the last few months. It's not so much that I do not believe in or trust my call to ministry. But I sincerely have been asking the question of "is that all?" I feel selfish when I think it. I feel like I'm a brat, to be perfectly honest. It sounds as though I don't value or really comprehend the brevity of a call to ministry, let alone what i call a deep and meaningful call to youth ministry.

The one thing that I do believe is that my life for years to come is going to include reading often about culture, youth ministry, families, crisis, pastoral counseling, psychology, and adolescence. This is where my life narrows. For all the time I can spend avoiding homework reading blogs about March Madness, analyzing my bracket, finding new music or reading about the new Indians' season, I cannot deny that my heart bleeds and tears when I still get phone calls from back in Indiana.

it is my call. I just wish God wasn't always so ambiguous about its' praxis in my dang life.