As I mentioned in my last blog, going back to my college reminded me of life with the Amish. New Wilmington, Pa., is a beautiful, tiny town in Western Pennsylvania, barely 10 miles east of the Ohio State line. It is almost a direct shot south of my hometown. And it looks likes a fairy tale. Seriously. Cobblestone roads. Horse drawn carriages are all over the place. All the stores closed at 6 pm while I was there. Nothing was open on Sundays. Nothing. Horse poop on campus. One town cop (and a vigilant one at that). They actually filmed an episode of The West Wing in the town's outskirts and neighboring town, b/c it looked like the middle of nowhere (err, it is the middle of nowhere).

Well, the town has actually changed quite a bit from what my drive used to look like. A coffee shop, two new restaurants (nearly doubling the previous total!), new banks, restored old homes, new traffic signals.

So the visit has me thinking a lot about the paradoxes that surround me. For instance, in the last two weeks, I've now seen Mormon's walking down the main housing drag of Fuller, talking to our students. I have a mixed set of emotions when I see them. I start to pity them. "Don't they know where they are?" Then I get frustrated. Then I get angry that I'm frustrated and pitying. Then I get plain old confused - what should be my response? The irony that Mormon young men are evangelizing the Christian young men and women at this, the largest Evangelical seminary in the country. Funny. Check out Rich Mouw's blog for some of his own thoughts about healthy Christian and Mormon interaction, and you'll probably understand both paradox and predicament here.

And how about this paradox? I live in a city that is so vigilant about being "green" and yet we're burning up each winter because we don't have enough "white/blue/clear" (what do you call rain??). Or how about the homeless men who live right outside my apartment during the day. They hang out in the vacant fast food restaurant. Yes, indeed, it is ironic. I know very few Fuller students who actually engage these men as people. Yet I don't know how to do it myself, as a woman.

I hate that paradoxical situation in and of itself. I'm a woman, ergo, I am (that's what the world is told, at least). But I can't love the really hurting people in our culture because either I'm flirting or I could get hurt myself. This broken world can chew and spit you out before you even do anything...

So these paradoxes. What are we supposed to do with them? Accept them and move on? Ignore them and hope they disappear? Fight them and potentially lose yet another battle? Honestly, I have no idea.