I must say that breaks are about the most beautiful creations ever.

In my daily obsession with retreating from the status quo, I have always (and forever) hated two things: giving up things for lent and new years' resolutions. I hated the former because it's become this trite observation that everyone does just because (just like three year olds, this reason does not suffice in my book).

I am stubborn and hate to follow the crowd. (Alas why I did not drink until 21. Not because of religious reasons, quite frankly, was it that I did not indulge in such behavior. Rather, I was stubborn and hated to do what everybody else does. I told myself at 14 I was not going to drink until 21 because that's the law and because God would be mad (that's a whole over blog, let's look to 2008 for). This stubbornness as a woman is ironic when we consider the female obsession with doing everything like the rest of we women: marriage, clothing, body image, etc. We are obsessed with not being unique, and yet mysteriously being our own person. The individual must always triumph over the collective we.)

I hated new years resolutions because, well, as stubborn as I am (meaning I would probably succeed at anything I was determined to win), n, again I hate to follow the crowd. (Hurray for trendsetters, pacesetters, and all around brats... my children undoubtedly will be annoying brats).

So as this break from Fuller has progressed, the long anticipated self-reflection of 2007 (and beyond) has commenced. I think I like more and more certain parts of me and who I am becoming. But I am realizing how jaded and crass I am since moving to LA. Has the smog gotten me? The dreaded doldrums of seminary? Or is it that yet again that the stubbornness of Libby has attached itself in a not-so-logical location.

While there will be no outset New Years resolutions for this lady in 2008, I do hope to figure out a way to evaluate more consistently, love myself better, lose some stress, and experience a bit more joy in the day to day.

Thanks break, you've been a blast.

Posted by Libby at 3:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

To be honest, I've been overwhelmed with the response to the blog on women in ministry. Now, it's not like I have 100 comments or something of the like. But in comparison to the four over all the other posts in the last year, 3 comments is substantial. It's left me thinking a lot about the reality that the church is not only behind the rest of our country (and world), but also sometime fearful or unwilling to really engage in a needed dialogue about a number of issues. Of course probably the most impacting for my personal life right now has got to be women in ministry. I still wonder what the heck I am doing some days, and I have come to the clear realization that this question is in major part resulting from a fear of the other. I know I have a call. I trust that call. I run from it often, but I know that it's there.

On the other hand, I do not think other agree, believe, trust or like that notions. It's just the world in which I live. So if there's one thing that I feel responsible to do, it's encourage the engagement of other in some fashion of a dialogue. Which is why, when a good friend of mine at Fuller told me her friend has started a new blog on women in ministry, I realized this blog is something i frankly cannot ignore, or neglect to pass on to others. And so, here I am encouraging you to read when you have time this blog.

Posted by Libby at 1:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As I mentioned in my last blog, going back to my college reminded me of life with the Amish. New Wilmington, Pa., is a beautiful, tiny town in Western Pennsylvania, barely 10 miles east of the Ohio State line. It is almost a direct shot south of my hometown. And it looks likes a fairy tale. Seriously. Cobblestone roads. Horse drawn carriages are all over the place. All the stores closed at 6 pm while I was there. Nothing was open on Sundays. Nothing. Horse poop on campus. One town cop (and a vigilant one at that). They actually filmed an episode of The West Wing in the town's outskirts and neighboring town, b/c it looked like the middle of nowhere (err, it is the middle of nowhere).

Well, the town has actually changed quite a bit from what my drive used to look like. A coffee shop, two new restaurants (nearly doubling the previous total!), new banks, restored old homes, new traffic signals.

So the visit has me thinking a lot about the paradoxes that surround me. For instance, in the last two weeks, I've now seen Mormon's walking down the main housing drag of Fuller, talking to our students. I have a mixed set of emotions when I see them. I start to pity them. "Don't they know where they are?" Then I get frustrated. Then I get angry that I'm frustrated and pitying. Then I get plain old confused - what should be my response? The irony that Mormon young men are evangelizing the Christian young men and women at this, the largest Evangelical seminary in the country. Funny. Check out Rich Mouw's blog for some of his own thoughts about healthy Christian and Mormon interaction, and you'll probably understand both paradox and predicament here.

And how about this paradox? I live in a city that is so vigilant about being "green" and yet we're burning up each winter because we don't have enough "white/blue/clear" (what do you call rain??). Or how about the homeless men who live right outside my apartment during the day. They hang out in the vacant fast food restaurant. Yes, indeed, it is ironic. I know very few Fuller students who actually engage these men as people. Yet I don't know how to do it myself, as a woman.

I hate that paradoxical situation in and of itself. I'm a woman, ergo, I am (that's what the world is told, at least). But I can't love the really hurting people in our culture because either I'm flirting or I could get hurt myself. This broken world can chew and spit you out before you even do anything...

So these paradoxes. What are we supposed to do with them? Accept them and move on? Ignore them and hope they disappear? Fight them and potentially lose yet another battle? Honestly, I have no idea.

Posted by Libby at 1:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)