Sometimes in the grind of full-time classes, part-time work, bills, friendships, family (all far away), let alone all the loops life throws at you, I find myself stuck in the position of needing a pick-me-up and a reminder. Of? A reminder of why I'm here. Funny thing is, I had no idea that it was exactly what I needed. Praise God that I can claim him as Jehovah Jireh!

See, I miss my old 'new' home. At least I missed it. But I had the opportunity to head back this past weekend; it's been a long time.

And so I headed to the site of the lovely '07 blizzard in Indiana. Imagine this if you will. Friday, Feb. 16th, it's 87 degrees (F) in Pasadena, and I step onto a plane at LAX at 12:35 am on Sat with the temperatures hovering around 60 degrees. Totally delightful. So what happens, I land at 9:45 am in Indianapolis to 17 degrees (F - yes, not C). I mean, I grew up in the snow belt in PA, so this should NOT be shocking to my system. Well, it was. But 15 in of snow, and seeing no pavement or cement was a bit, ok, a LOT confusing.

I was quickly able to move past the weather, as I was blessed to surprise a large number of my 'former' students in Indianapolis at a retreat this weekend. The weekend was a blessing for a number of reasons:
- It was good to be 'home'
- I love bear hugs, and a lot of my boys gave great hugs when i saw them - i like surprises!
- I love bear hugs, and a lot of my girls gave amazing hugs when i saw them - yup, i still like surprises!
- people's facial expressions are amazing, especially when they don't expect to see your face!
- God poured out his love on me during this weekend
- I was reminded of my call in a profound way

I moved to Pasadena from Indianapolis to earn (as you can see) my Master of Divinity in Youth, Family and Culture. Two years of working in youth ministry in Indy (yay, Super Bowl Champs!) was amazing - in every sense of the word. It was amazing because God showed me my call, and at times with such specificity I could do nothing but stand in awe.

I spent the weekend laughing, smiling, giggling, grinning, and in awe of God's amazing gifts, power, and wonder. He reminded me so clearly that these people are those who sent me to Fuller, who sent me to be equipped, and why I am in this part of my journey.

My students opened up immediately with me, shared stories, cried with me, laughed (a LOT) with me, and communed in fellowship with me and their new sisters and brothers. I have arrived back in LA (4 hours ago, ha!) refreshed, renewed and reinvigorated. I went to the land of Hoosiers to surprise and serve; God amazingly did that and more right back to me. God's pretty cool, pretty stinking cool!

So the question now: What brought you here? What brings you here? How do you plan on keeping that fire alive? What do you need to keep that fire alive? God's subtle reminders are good, very good indeed.

Posted by Libby at 11:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have a friend at an undergraduate Christian university in the Midwest who writes for her school's admissions blog (I guess I befriend people just like me?). She was telling me the other day that her dad reads her blogs (she had no idea), and when she recently wrote about her staying up until the wee hours of the night doing homework for a class, and not really caring about the end result (ahh, senioritis), her dad read the note. Whoops! Don't worry, Dad, that's not me. I care about the work, I'm just really busy!

I hate falling asleep doing work. Clearly my body does too! Really, it's the notion that I need to reevaluate my priorities and my focus. But it's one thing to know this, and another thing to do it. I've just noticed how tired I've been lately on weekends, and how I really need rest.

Which has me thinking a lot - more than I'd like, actually. How am I am supposed to find rest and quiet time when I'm supposed to be in full-time classes, working part-time (25 hrs.), and maybe allowing for some fun in my life? I guess that's where I differ from others - I refuse to not have fun (lovely double negative there). I know I need fun to remain sane. Which is why I went on a retreat Thursday through Saturday, through the All Seminary Council (lovingly known as the ASC).

Now I knew this was going to be a bunch of sessions, talking about leadership, and there would be friends to hang out with, friends to me, etc. But it sounded restful enough. It was funny, our lunch table one day started discussing the ironic nature of the word retreat. How many times have you been on a retreat and actually rested? I always return from a retreat, no matter how amazing, exhausted and needing another retreat just to catch up from it. Which is unfortunate when you have 5 papers due the following week.

This will be a crazy week, but I hope to start to evaluate a bit more what rest looks like for me, for a student, a graduate student, a friend, a daughter, a child of God, and a sinner.

Posted by Libby at 5:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes it becomes rather easy to forget about the preciousness of life, or maybe better put, the true lack of control we all possess. As Christians, we often use this language of control in conversations about God's sovereignty, omniscience, and power, but I wonder how much of it we actually believe. Truth be told, even the best of us don't really give enough credence to the fact that we have no control over instances. Even in the free will that I possess, I don't necessarily have control over what illnesses I will have, how my friend will respond to a comment, how the person in the left lane will turn, etc.

I'm not preparing to get into a theological argument about predestination vs. free will - maybe another day, at another time (when I'm a bit more awake and cognitively prepared to argue). But I have been thinking a lot lately about circumstances surrounding me that I have the choice in what I'm doing versus those moments when I hear news that I have literally no say in outcome or effects.

A professor of mine this quarter has been surprised, shall I say, by the recent events of his health. Two surgeries in three weeks would be a nice little surprise to me too. Another professor around here is terminally ill with cancer. (I mean, I guess in a horrifically pessimistic view we're all terminally ill, but that's just a silly statement, really!) But I wonder how many of the students around here, or how many people in general, really think about this notion that things are happening to every one of us that we don't care, want or know how to share together. Or even that things happen daily that we wish we could relive.

I wish I had that mulligan button to hit occasionally in life, but I don't. So I am left to relive or live out the effects of some of my choices and the choices of others. I wonder if it ever will feel okay, though.

Posted by Libby at 4:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been wondering lately how it happens that you enter the world of graduate school (or even simply school), and suddenly everything exterior to that world is lost to you. I recall undergraduate work where I never watched TV (weird, I know) except for ER. I recall having to tell people I had a meeting every Thursday at 9:45 pm (I needed adequate time to return to my dorm room). I had a standing date (no, I didn't stand, but it was established) with one of my closest friends from college to watch ER. But other than sports, I think I was pretty unaware of the world surrounding me.

A few significant events hit our world and the US while I did my undergraduate work. We had no president for a few weeks (Pres. Bush vs. Pres. Gore), September 11th (as we studied the Tower of Babel in my Old Testament class that morning - I kid you not!), Operation Iraqi Freedom, bombing Afghanistan, and Saddam Hussein was captured. I'm sure there was more. When I moved to Indianapolis and became a "working" adult, I watched the news almost every night. I stayed updated through the liberal and conservative forms of media. I was knowledgeable about a wide variety of issues and topics in our culture. Then I moved to Los Angeles, California, which in my mind, is (or was) the mecca for current events.

Then suddenly, my awareness stopped. I think I've watched the news 10 times total since i moved, 4 times in my first week. Aside from the aforementioned tragic or life-altering events, I never knew what was going on in my community or my world while in college, and I am realizing the same could be true now that I'm in graduate school.

Is it realistic to assume that all students lack a wealth of information about the current events of our society? Or do we put so much pressure on the "perfect" grades and behaviors that we neglect to be aware of the surrounding climates? I'm all for learning - it is why I'm here. But I'm not all about forgetting the world.

Students here are involved in the world. Last week the School of Intercultural Studies' Graduate Union spent a week on a campaign the school has developed: The Needless Child Campaign It's just one example of people here rallying around a real current event (not that Britney broke up with Kevin - whoa, old news!)

But what makes this neglect of current events okay about the academician's life? What makes ignoring the world around us, even our own communities, for the sake of study wrong or right? Is it bad that I was unaware - or good?

So here I am saying that people are involved in the world events en masse, but I wonder how aware we all are of the day to day atrocities and occurrences. Is it bad or not? I'm not quite sure. But I do realize that I miss knowing what's going on - even though msn.com and I are best friends when i pull my the internet on my laptop, it doesn't mean that I'm really aware. And it doesn't mean that everyone is this way because I don't watch the news - but my impression thus far is that I'm in the norm.

So is it wrong or right? I'm not sure... I'd love some real debate on this. But I certainly am realizing that I am a bit uneasy about not knowing what the big issue in our country because I'm stuck in drama at Fuller. Maybe it's time to change... maybe.

Posted by Libby at 1:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)