Our family went to a Christmas movie this year called The Nativity. It was more than a bit of a Hollywood portrayal of the birth of Jesus, but I have to admit that I liked it; it really put me in the Christmas spirit. In the movie one of the wise men had a problem with doubt. He had trouble believing that this "Messiah" thing was really true, and didn't want the trouble of a long journey looking for him in Palestine. Toward the end of the move as they neared the scene where Jesus lie in the manger, in good Hollywood style, they came over a hillside to see a light-beam from heaven directly to the place where Jesus was born. At that point the wise man who initiated the journey to find the Messiah looked at his doubting friend and said "how's your faith now?" I've had my own experience of this in the past week.

In my last post I spoke of the difficulty I have determining how to alleviate pressure during times of great stress. The subject came from the fact that things had already been tough and ahead of our family lie a very stressful summer with the move to Springfield, MO. About the time I wrote we were just getting our house on the market, probably full two months behind the schedule our realtor said would be necessary to sell, close, and move out. This was not good news because I've had this lagging doubt that we would be able sell our house on time and was beginning to believe I would probably be stuck moving out to Springfield alone for a semester while the house sold. Obviously, we would not be able to move if it didn't sell, and considering that the market is tumbling and many homes are sitting unsold, it seemed like a real possibility. Well . . . after two weeks on the market we accepted an offer last week for full asking price. The inspections are today and if all goes well a final signing will be in two weeks. I am not the spiritualizing type, but it did seem like God sort of whispered in my ear the other day and asked, "how's your faith now?"

Posted by Dwight at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

At the end of every semester I am reminded of just how crazy things get. The last two weeks of the semester and the two weeks afterwards are absolutely ridiculous. I do nothing but grade and teach, literally, from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. The intensity is overwhelming, and I usually do not deal with it well. Most years I work myself to the point of exhaustion, then get sick. Last year was the worst; I got Shingles. In case you don’t know, Shingles is like the second coming of Chicken Pox. I speak with authority when I say that everything bad that you’ve heard about Shingles is true. I was in debilitating pain for two months; it wrecked my summer. The doctor said my immune system was weak. This year has been the same in regard to intensity, except this year I have had to deal with the resignation of my position at VFCC, possibly one of the most difficult decisions of my life. Added to this, after finals I taught a one-week intensive class in New Testament Theology for the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary. Now I am in the throws of getting our house ready to be put on the market so that we can sell it and move to Springfield, MO, this summer. For Sue and I this will be the most difficult summer of our 28 years together. I am praying that I do not have my annual crash.

All of this sounds like I am complaining, I’m not. I have, however, come to one definitive conclusion … life does not get easier; it will always be exhausting, the difficulty always rising to the level of your ability to deal with it. Instead of hoping it will change, I realize now that I have to learn how to deal with it. It won’t change, I must. I wish I could say that I knew how to do that. There are some pressures that are avoidable, but some are not. I have the problem of determining which are which. It’s at this point where I am suppose to list the nuggets of truth that I have discovered in determining ways to avoid unnecessary pressures. Unfortunately, I usually find out what these things are after the fact, and much of the time I could never have known beforehand what they were! Then I look back and I say, “sheesh, I spent so much time toiling over that and it made no difference at all!� It’s sort of like all the time I spent in front of the mirror fixing my hair in jr. high—little good that did.

I can say that most of the things I fret over usually don’t happen. The money works out; the worst-case scenario usually does not happen; the kids have the flu not meningitis, etc., etc. In other words, the sky does not fall.

I have a summer ahead that will push to the limit. So, where will I spend my time and effort? I have made three decisions: First, I need to make sure that my family is doing well with the move. They are as much a part of the move as I am. Much of how they feel is determined by my attitude. Second, I need to be productive. I have a tendency to procrastinate and allow my overwhelmed state to cause paralysis in my activity. I can’t do that, not this summer. Finally, but not least, I need to quit thinking that for things to work out this summer it’s all up to me. There are lot of people who are willing to help, my wife Sue is working very hard, and lots of people are praying for us. For this I am very thankful. I'll be sure to let you know how things go.

Posted by Dwight at 8:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)